Karen was getting back on the horse today, braving a return to Devizes exactly one week after her high-profile fall in the High Street.
Equipped with a comprehensive footwear arsenal—comprising her daily comfortable shoes, her formal ‘sensible’ work shoes, a dedicated pair of driving trainers, and a backup pair of office pumps—she set off for work. She was understandably pleased to be walking with barely a trace of a limp, even if her ankle still resembled a particularly vibrant evening sunset.
My primary concern was purely spatial: I was genuinely unsure whether there would be enough physical room in the vehicle for four extra pairs of shoes alongside the extensive textile inventory already stored inside.
Karen’s work vehicle is effectively the limited-edition Fiat 500 Car-drobe. This specialised model is masterfully engineered to house every conceivable item of clothing—and now footwear—she could possibly require during a standard working day. No matter what unhinged meteorological anomaly the British sky throws at her, the appropriate attire is already stowed on board.
Require a heavy-duty duvet coat for a sudden arctic blast? It’s hanging in the back. Caught out by an unexpected heatwave? A crisp, lightweight linen jacket is resting on the parcel shelf. Unexpected gale? Gloves, woollen hats, scarves, and spare thermal socks are all accounted for. And I shan’t embarrass her by detailing the exact contents of the newly designated ‘glove-box’—suffice it to say, actual gloves are the least of it.
In fairness, it is a formidable tactical strategy. She will never be caught unprepared by the elements. As the famed British fell walker and author Alfred Wainwright famously observed:
“There’s no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing.”
In theory, maintaining a fully functioning walk-in wardrobe inside an Italian city car should drastically reduce the demand for clothing storage inside the actual house.
Regrettably, I cannot report that this theory holds up in practice. Karen still maintains an exceptionally impressive backup collection of four-season outdoor gear in the house, just in case the Car-drobe ever requires a total emergency resupply.
Leave a Reply