A quick preview of what is coming up on the blog this week as we navigate plant welfare, high-stakes family developments, hyper-reactive sports equipment, and medieval dental care.
Garden Centre Rescues & Tree Musical Chairs
Rescuing wild garden borders, playing potted tree musical chairs, and narrowly avoiding a formal raid from the RSPCP (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Plants) after evaluating the state of our outdoor greenery.
Tag-Team Footwork & Sore Legs
Navigating the ever-shifting SatNav maze of New Barnet for an intensive table tennis coaching session that leaves my legs in complete rebellion for the rest of the weekend.
Standby for GC4 & High-Speed Hounds
With the ‘Expectant Grandparent Scale’ hovering firmly at DEFCON 3, every phone chime causes a sudden spike in adrenaline. Meanwhile, keeping two collies entertained while on baby standby proves to be an athletic discipline in its own right.
Scary Bin Days & A Four-Thousand-Mile Emergency
Tuesdays are never quiet. Between Moog’s terror at the glass-recycling lorry, Karen’s severe ankle sprain, news from hospital in Australia, and the long-awaited arrival of GC4, my stress levels hit capacity well before lunch.
Unstable Weapons & Old Faithful
A sudden epiphany on the table tennis court leads to an emergency bat-testing session with Jack. It turns out my new racket isn’t a piece of sports kit—it is an unstable military weapon capable of launching ping pong balls into low Earth orbit.
Rainbow Ankles & Loft Monitor Victories
Karen’s ankle reaches peak artistic expression, coloured black as the ace of spades with a delicate fringe of green and purple. On the home front, retrieving a monitor from our newly boarded loft goes shockingly smoothly, though the first table tennis match of the season brings us back to earth.
Dental Victimhood & High-Pressure Waterboarding
To top off the week, I survive a double-dose of dental treatment. Between Sister Helga’s sonic cutter, dark glasses designed to hide weeping eyes, and the elusive art of “relaxing one’s lips,” I walk out with shiny teeth and a thoroughly empty wallet.
Follow along with the daily posts as they go live over at https://marklaker.blog
Leave a comment