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What a week it’s been. We kicked things off with a chaotic ‘fun day’ on the table tennis court—where bare wooden bats and eyepatches completely levelled the playing field—before I packed my bags for a three-day business trip up to Glasgow.
The journey north proved to be a masterclass in British Rail survival. Between battling dry ‘All-Day’ sandwiches, dodging tilting Pendolino carriages, and navigating hotel rooms with laser-guided precision, I somehow managed to survive on shoe-less boardroom tactics and a pair of noise-cancelling headphones.
Back home in Wiltshire, the adventure didn’t stop there. A loud ‘BANG’ at the recycling centre left the Cayenne stranded with a pinky-finger-sized screw in the tyre, forcing me to decipher the classified codes of local bus timetables with the help of a mysterious Scottish informant in Marlborough.
The Weekly Recap at a Glance
- Sunday: Eyepatches, Wooden Bats, and the Great Glasgow Expedition Rubberless wooden bats, temporary pirate blindness, and packing for a five-hour train journey north.
- Monday: The Four Golden Rules of UK Train Travel (and How I Broke Every Single One) ‘All-Day’ sandwiches, platform sprints at Euston, hazmat toilet protocols, and the inevitability of rail delays.
- Tuesday: Motel 1 Glasgow, Karaoke Bars, and Ancient Travel Advice Decoding budget hotel branding, dodging city-centre karaoke, and rewriting St Augustine’s ancient wisdom for British Rail.
- Wednesday: Tilting Pendolinos, Railway God Mind Games, and the Final Leg to Pewsey Stagering through 100mph train carriages, missing connections, and the psychological warfare of a punctual final train.
- Thursday: Hillarys Blinds, Laser Precision, and The Paddington Dilemma Border Collie treat-extortion schemes, NASA-grade laser curtain installation, and why Giles the blind man wouldn’t survive on the railways.
- Friday: Brogue Blisters, Glasgow Shoe Hunts, and the Extreme Sports Cover-Up Stiff leather brogues, failed late-night Glasgow shoe hunts, faking extreme sports injuries, and pioneering boardroom sock fashion.
- Saturday: Punctures, Marlborough Bus Codes, and The Scottish Informant Getting grounded at the recycling depot, a total mobile signal blackout, and breaking the secret code of Wiltshire bus transit.
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Forwards and occasionally sidewards - everyday musings of life 
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