Forwards and occasionally sidewards – everyday musings of life

Pulling into Steve Bull Specialist Cars Ltd – Porsche Specialist with absolutely no warning lights remaining on the dashboard, I had a sinking feeling this trip might turn into another utter embarrassment. ‘Tick-gate’ immediately popped back into my head. Still, the technicians here know the car inside out and have cleared plenty of random, ghost-in-the-machine error messages for me in the past. They certainly wouldn’t tut at me—at least, not while I was still standing in the workshop.

Thirty minutes later, the diagnosis came back exactly as expected: no major mechanical faults found. The computer had, however, logged a single historical error regarding a faulty lumbar support motor on one of the seats.

Really? There’s a dedicated warning light system for lumbar support? And here was me assuming my aching lower back was purely down to table tennis footwork and overly ambitious weight-room sessions, when all along it was a rebellious car seat. I jest, of course. Modern luxury vehicles seem to possess a warning light for literally everything—except, apparently, a light to tell you that the other warning lights are talking complete nonsense.

Still, the trip wasn’t a total loss. I got my regular Porsche fix strolling around the beautiful cars there, and I had a great catch-up with my friend Mel from MEM Detailing Services. You don’t merely clean motorcars of this calibre; you detail them, and Mel is a true master of the craft.

Later that afternoon, while taking the dogs for a steady walk to clear my head, I reflected on the old adage that inconvenient events always arrive in threes. We’d survived Tick-gate, endured a clattering Fiat that required an actual garage visit, and suffered a full electronic phantom panic in the Cayenne.

It was Friday evening, the weekend had arrived, and the rule of three had been satisfied.

Nothing else could possibly go wrong now… could it?