Forwards and occasionally sidewards – everyday musings of life

Today’s priority was to dispose of the small mountain of packaging that had cocooned the new garden furniture. I woke up fearing a grueling, major operation involving Stanley knives, endless heavy-duty bin bags, and multiple, soul-crushing trips to the tip.

However, I was pleasantly surprised. Once the securing tape was severed, the mammoth boxes helplessly collapsed, dropping flat to the floor as if surrendering to their fate. They were ready for their final mission: a trip to the dump.

Whoops—I can’t call it the “dump” in 2026, can I? The politically correct, modern term is the Local Recycling Centre.

The Cayenne swallowed the entire flattened mountain in one go, meaning I only needed a single trip. Result.

I always find disposing of discarded stuff at the LRC incredibly satisfying, albeit slightly stressful. Gone are the days of the one giant hole in the ground where you could just throw everything and walk away. Now, every single material has its own dedicated, strictly policed container. Look out if you dare to accidentally drop a piece of plastic into the metal bin or leave a scrap of cardboard in the general waste. The Dumpsters will be after you.

The Dumpsters—a term of endearment I give to the eagle-eyed staff who monitor the site—occupy a social standing somewhere on par with doctor’s receptionists. You simply dare not cross them. If you make a mistake, they will happily make you climb into a cavernous skip to retrieve a misplaced item. Of course, they have to catch you first. Most of the time, they are in full “Jackdaw” mode anyway, rummaging through the bins looking for hidden treasures of the slightest value.

With my high-stakes mission successfully completed, I headed home.

Having cleared the main hurdle of the day, the plan was to spend the afternoon enjoying the furniture, reading my book, and relaxing. However, feeling flush with success, I accidentally fell into productivity mode and ticked a few more tasks off the list first.

Ultimately, I did get to sit out, read, and test the ergonomics of the new lounger. The sun cooperated, the furniture is a triumph, and the day was an absolute success.